Thinking about your partner after you’ve had a baby


Having a baby affects both you and your partner. You’re both getting used to having a baby around. Your partner may be just as nervous about being a parent as you are.

What You Can Do

Learn about taking care of your baby together. Read baby care books and go to baby care classes.

Let your partner help with the baby. Don’t try to do everything by yourself.

Spend time with your partner—just the two of you. Go for a walk or out to dinner. Ask someone you trust to take care of the baby for an hour or two.

Ask your provider about when it’s OK for you to have sex again. Most likely she’ll say to wait about 4 weeks to give your body time to heal after labor and birth. You may have mixed feelings about having sex again. You may be sore, tired and stressed. You may not feel very sexy. Here’s what you can do:

  • Make sure your partner knows what your provider says about how long to wait to have sex again. Ask your provider to talk to your partner if necessary.
  • Start slowly. Tell your partner what feels good and what doesn’t.
  • Try different positions.
  • Talk to your partner. Explain how you feel. Find out how your partner feels. Talking can help keep you both from feeling hurt and frustrated.

Courtesy of the March of Dimes
 

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Encouragement + An Assist = Success

Nine days past her due date, Sara Howe was awakened at 3:00AM when her water broke. Thrilled that the long wait was finally over, Sara and her husband David packed up and headed to PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center. By 5:00AM they were comfortably settled into one of PeaceHealth Southwest’s Labor Delivery Recovery and Postpartum rooms, ready for action. But four hours later, Sara contractions had still not progressed so her midwife started her on Pitocin. Soon the contractions kicked in and Sara was well on her way.

At around eight o’clock the next morning, it was time for Sara to start pushing. So she pushed. And she pushed, and she pushed, and she pushed. "The first few hours of pushing went by without me realizing the time," remarked Sara. "But around the fourth hour I started to wonder if I was still making progress. That is when the encouragement of my midwife, husband and the PeaceHealth Southwest nursing staff kept me going. It was like I had my own cheering section."

Unfortunately, even with all the support and encouragement, Sara’s labor was not progressing because her baby’s head was tilted in the birth canal. Neither Sara or her midwife wanted her to have a Cesarean section after all that work, so her midwife suggested an assisted delivery. Read more >

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