Having a Two Year Old: Embrace the Challenge and Enjoy

Posted by familybirthcenter in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, August 16, 2008 | Comments (0)

I remember the very day when my sweet little girl began to have a will of her own.  Up until that moment I was easily able to distract or coerce her into doing what I needed her to do.  But, on that day she peered out from behind the dining room chair and I saw a mischievous twinkle in her eye that let me know she was becoming an independent little being who had a mission separate from mine.  She was only 18 months at the time but, I knew that each child was individual as to when they would reach specific milestones in their developmental.

I had read plenty of parenting books about two year olds. So, I knew this age of independence was a vital developmental stage. What I wasn't prepared for was my reaction to her testing of limits.  I had always been a patient, calm, in control person with a happy demeanor. But, this little one whom I loved with all my heart knew how to push my buttons.  At first it was kind of cute because, she was not doing it out of anger she was happily defiant. But, one time when I was very tired after her baby sister was born her testing of boundaries escalated my frustration level higher than I thought possible.  I had to take a time out in order to deal with her.  This was my first realization that although parenting was going to be one of the most rewarding and precious times in my life, it would also be the most challenging.

I have heard some parents joke that their child had horns that would pop out once in awhile when they were misbehaving.  Like there was a little devil hiding inside that would peek out of their perfect angel from time to time.  It is important that parents realize this is a healthy and important step in their child's emotional maturity and that their children will become easier to work with as they reach elementary school age.  Of course, parents need to set some boundaries for their children so they can get along with others and to keep them from harm but, this stage is necessary for their development in order to be ready for school.

As an experienced parent, I would like to share with mothers and fathers of toddlers that this time of independence and exploration is also life's way of preparing your for the teenage years. As your babies grow into teenagers you will find that they will act out much like s/he did in their toddler years.  At times they will tease you and test the boundaries to see how far they can go and how much you will take.  Other times they will react to your parenting with fierce tempers.  The saving grace of this time is that you will all survive and your children will grow into responsible, productive, caring adults if they are supported by parents who are patient, willing to listen, loving and set safety boundaries.  Another key component is providing a good family foundation of morals, values and minimal family stresses. 

We are fortunate in the Clark County - Portland area there are many parenting resources available to assist families.  A couple of the resources are ESD 112 and Children's Home Society but, there are many more.  If you call these agencies and still can't find what you need call the Childbirth Education Department at your hospital.

As a mother of an eleven year old and two teenagers I can tell you that it is definitely worth the journey.  So, hang in there , enjoy and remember that this challenging time of the toddler years is a very small slice of the "pie of life."

"I love kids, but enough is enough..."

Posted by drchang in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, August 2, 2008 | Comments (0)

You've become a family.  It'd be nice to have a whole baseball team, but you really think you've changed all the diapers you can during this lifetime!  Now what?

 Technology in the last 5 years has really provided all sorts of conveniences and options for all sorts of things.  Contraception is no different.  Gone are the days when you either had to take a pill everyday or take the risks of surgery.  There are many semi-permanent and much lower risk and easier permanent options now.

First, intrauterine devices (IUD).  There are two options here.  Mirena and Paraguard.  Both are super easy to use because once your doctor puts it in, you don't have to do anything for five or 10 years, depending on which you use.  The only risk you take is when you get it put in at your doctor's office, and that risk is really minimal.

Next, a simple procedure called Essure can be done in the office and is permanent.  In the office!  You don't have to go to the operating room, and your doctor does not have to put incisions in your belly!  A tubal without going to the opreating room?!  How great is that?  There are many of us in the Portland/Vancouver area that are qualified to do this 10 minute procedure in the office. 

For all of you who are thinking,"My husband said he was going to get a vasectomy."  I tell you this as fact.  Five women in the last month have walked into my office asking for options since their husbands have broken their promises to get a vasectomy.  (Honestly, men are big babies - particularly when it comes to THAT area of the body!  Can anyone really disagree with that?)  It used to really make sense to bully your husband to get a vasectomy because that procedure is an office procedure and low risk.  Now that female sterilization is also that easy and quick, there's no reason to place your contraceptive fate in your husband's hands. 

Talk to your Ob-Gyn about the options.  If you're sure you don't want anymore kids, 10-15 minutes is all that it takes to make that a reality.  Pretty cool, right?

Library's the Place to Be

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, August 2, 2008 | Comments (0)

While my oldest daughter was at a preschool field trip today to the Portland Children's Museum, I took my youngest daughter, Chloe (2 1/2), to the Van Mall Library Branch Baby & Toddler Jamboree. There were toys, bubbles, music, crafts, snacks, and storytimes. So much to do, we hardly had time to do it all before it was time to go! It was really great to have some one-on-one time where I could focus only on Chloe and follow her lead as she went from one fun thing to the next.

I'd recommend library events to anyone with any age of child, at any time of the year. There are so many locations, there's bound to be one in your neck of the woods, and best of all, they're all FREE! Visit www.fvrl.org to find out about storytimes, clubs, and special events for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school-agers, teens, and, yes, even us adults!

Baby Blues

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, July 26, 2008 | Comments (0)

No matter how many times an expectant mother is warned about the baby blues, when they set in, it feels like you've been hit with a hormonal brick. I did not expect in my wildest nightmares that I would be suseptible to postpartum depression in any form. I had prepared thoroughly, had a supportive husband and family, and had no history of depression. Additionally, labor with my first daughter went incredibly smoothly. If I could make it through childbirth "successfully" what else was there to fear? Or, more to the point, what did I have to be depressed about? Even when we left the hospital and headed home, where my mother (who is also a doula - how convenient!) was staying with us for a week, I felt like I had everything under control.

Then came the first night away from the hospital. At this point I had probably gone at least 36 hours with very minimal sleep, and part of that was spent working hard to birth a baby! Lack of sleep + overwhelming responsibility of a dependent child + hormonal overdrive = a physical and emotional low unlike I've ever known to this day. That night seemed like it would never end, with the baby crying seemingly every 20 seconds, and me feeling completely alone in the darkness. On top of this, I was feeling completely inadequate because we were having a hard time latching Madison on to eat, so my breasts felt like bruised boulders hanging from my chest. Even my mother, with her years of doula and birth work and breastfeeding 6 of her 7 children herself, couldn't latch this baby on my breast to eat. But I refused to feed her formula, so I used a breast pump for the first couple of days, until we realized we needed professional help ASAP.

My mom went with me to see the lactation consultant at the Utah hospital where my daughter had been born just a few days prior, and both our jaws dropped when that saintly woman immediately shoved an ample mouthful of nipple straight into my daughter's willing chops. That brief session with a lactation consultant was the cure I needed for my thankfully short-lived, albeit severe, baby blues. Catching up on my sleep before my mom headed back home, 800 miles away, and able to feed my brand new daughter, my body and mind were able to adjust back to normal. Not necessarily the normal I knew before my beautiful Madison was born, but a new normal that now, 5 years later, I couldn't live without.

Nap Wars

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, July 19, 2008 | Comments (3)

I think my youngest daughter has outgrown naps. The last couple of nights, she has been wide awake come bedtime. I remember this struggle with my oldest daughter. She would fight naps so I stopped making her take one, but then she would fall asleep late in the afternoon, wake up at her regular bedtime, and be wide awake until 10 or 11 pm, robbing my husband and me of our "wind-down" time before we hit the hay ourselves, and making her very tired the next day from getting to bed so late. Although it felt wrong, and probably was, I would come up with ways to keep her awake in the afternnon so she would be exhausted enough to go to sleep early at night. Selfish, I know. Many pediatric sleep experts have dispelled myths that keeping a tired child awake is beneficial (see Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth http://www.familysleep.com ).

So now I find myself struggling with the same issue I did 3 years ago with daugher #1. You'd think I'd learned from experience how to deal with the nap transition period, but I find myself similarly clueless in this arena, even after having read the books. I'm falling back on the same solution: keeping her awake at all costs during the day in order to ensure an early bedtime. I need to read Dr. Weissbluth's book again, but in the meantime, any advice?

Nutrition Tip

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, July 12, 2008 | Comments (1)

I was sneaky when my first daughter was a toddler. Per advice from my own mother, I secretly laced her apple juice with carrots to add a little somethin' somethin' in the nutrition department. Here's how I did it:

• Cut up several carrots, add water to cover about half the carrots, and steam until very soft.
• Pour carrots and water into a blender and puree until liquified.
• Pour mixture into an ice tray and freeze to create individual-sized carrot ice cubes.
• Each time you serve your little one juice, add a carrot cube and a boost of Vitamin A!

You could potentially do this with many different veggies (I occassionally used green beans and beets), I just found that carrots had the right consistency and my daughter really liked the taste of the apple/carrot blend.

Breastfeeding in Public

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, June 21, 2008 | Comments (0)

When I was breastfeeding both my daughters, I was always frustrated that I felt somehow expected to find a private place to nurse, away from those who could be offended by the practice. It's now been 6 months since I weened my second daughter (at age 2) from the breast, and I still don't understand why anyone would be offended by breastfeeding in public.

Please understand that I'm not refering to breasts hanging out for all to see, but quietly nursing my baby, completely covered. I will admit that I never remember anyone ever mentioning anything derogatory or even giving strange looks when I did venture to breastfeed in a public place out of necessity. So perhaps it was my own inihibitions that produced a self-inflicted paranoia. But I have a sneeking suspicion that some people are shocked to see a woman breastfeeding - even when they're completely covered! The baby's got to eat, and I don't feel I should be forced into a dark corner to do feed her. Am I sounding militant?

Because of my inner turmoil each time I was faced with needing to feed my baby in a public place, I've come to love seeing women who nurse in public, with no apparent regard for anyone's feelings other than their own child - whose needs should come before anyone else's social comfort. I salute you! Nurse on.