Pregnancy & Delivery

Pregnancy & Delivery

Pregnancy has a life of its own, with you at the center of it. We’ve included a wealth of information to help you through pregnancy and delivery.

 

Support during pregnancy

Sometimes it's easy to forget that pregnancy is a major event in your partner's life too. He may feel anxiety and fear, and may not know how he can best support you through the process. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If he's afraid that having sex could cause a miscarriage or harm the baby, it may help if you and/or your healthcare provider have a frank conversation with him about sex during pregnancy.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask others for help, too. Your family and girlfriends may just be waiting for an invitation to provide assistance. Get more coping tips from one of the YourBabyYourWay.com experts, Vancouver life coach Sharla Vellek.

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Sexual intimacy during pregnancy

Sexual intimacy is a normal and healthy part of a committed relationship. Before pregnancy, you likely felt comfortable being intimate with your partner. Now that you’re pregnant, you may have questions or feel unsure about having sex with your partner.

There are lots of myths about sex and pregnancy, such as:
  • Sex can be harmful or painful during pregnancy.
  • Intercourse could hurt the baby.
  • The baby somehow “knows” that sex is taking place.
Truth:
  • Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.
  • As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom's abdomen. Read more>

More Pregnancy and Delivery Articles >

intimacy

Ask the Expert


Q: I’m pregnant with our third child. Between work, raising our family and trying to keep up with housework and family commitments, I feel overwhelmed all the time. I find myself crying over the smallest things, and just feel out of control for the first time in my life. How can I get my life back? 

A: Being pregnant is the most rewarding, yet most difficult time. I truly believe you will be fine because you recognize that you are overwhelmed. So first, learn to only have five commitments at one time. Second, ask for help right now. Being pregnant is a job. LOL!! Seriously, reach out to a girlfriend, your mom or your husband and tell them how you feel and ASK. For me, asking was really, really tough for awhile until I did it and now I realize how much weight is lifted when I do ask for help. Are your children able to help clean? Can you minimize some of the family commitments for awhile until things feel in more control? Take advantage of this time to let some things go and spend more time with your family. A wise woman of six once told me, cherish these times and let the small things go because they do go away and you will miss them. 

Read more pregnancy coping tips from life coach Sharla Vellek >

Read more pregnancy answers from our experts>

Ask the Expert is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your physician or other qualified health provider because of something you have read here.
 

Yes You're PregnantBook Review:

Yes, You're Pregnant, But What About Me?

by Kevin Nealon

At fifty-three, Kevin Nealon thought he had it all: a massive international celebrity with legions of loyal fans; a fabulous modeling career; hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank; and the most recognizable face on the planet. Nealon had accomplished the impossible: a thirty-year career in show business with only limited trips to rehab. But just like every other celebrity, he felt that was not enough. The perpetually insatiable Nealon wanted more, and for him more meant a little addition that drooled, burped, and pooped (no, not a Pomeranian).

Now, in his first-ever book, Nealon tells the outrageous story of how he battled through aching joints, Milano cookie cravings, and a rapidly receding hairline to become a first-time dad at an age when most fathers are packing their kids off to college. Offering hysterical commentary about his fickle, often hormonal, road to belated and bloated fatherhood, Nealon guides you through the delivery room and beyond, discussing how his past, his wife, and his neuroses all converged in a montage of side-splitting insecurities during the months leading up to the birth of his son. Read the full review >

Buy from Powells.com       
Buy from Amazon.com  
Get it from the Multnomah County Library 

Latest Posts Share your story

Women (and their partners, for that matter) encounter a whole new world during pregnancy. Why not share your experiences with other mothers? Join the community today to share your stories. Or select a blog from the list below to read other expectant parents’ stories.

 

Flu, Flu shot, Pregnancy..what's a mom to do?! (by drchang on 17-Nov-09; 3 comments)

Subchorionic hemmoraging (by emmareaghansmommy on 17-Jul-09; 0 comments)

Ok..anytime now! (by emmareaghansmommy on 9-Jul-09; 1 comments)

Prize winning birth videos (by nikkik on 6-Jul-09; 1 comments)

Pregnancy and anxiety/depression (by emmareaghansmommy on 8-Jun-09; 0 comments)

Pregnancy anxiety and depression part 2 (by emmareaghansmommy on 8-Jun-09; 1 comments)

What's your favorite trimester? (by emmareaghansmommy on 26-May-09; 1 comments)

Eco-Friendly Family, Eco-Friendly Baby (by familybirthcenter on 25-May-09; 1 comments)

Pregnancy online (by emmareaghansmommy on 14-May-09; 4 comments)

Learning Labor Young (by nikkik on 22-Apr-09; 0 comments)

"Oh, No! My doctor said bed rest..." (by drchang on 20-Apr-09; 0 comments)

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Sex during pregnancy


Sexual intimacy is a normal and healthy part of a committed relationship. Before pregnancy, you likely felt comfortable being intimate with your partner. Now that you’re pregnant, you may have questions or feel unsure about having sex with your partner.

There are lots of myths about sex and pregnancy, such as:

  • Sex can be harmful or painful during pregnancy.
  • Intercourse could hurt the baby.
  • The baby somehow “knows” that sex is taking place.

Truth:

  • Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.
  • As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom's abdomen.

When Is Sex Unsafe During Pregnancy?
There are some circumstances that can make sex during pregnancy unsafe. Women who have the following health complications should talk to their health provider before engaging in sex:

  • A history or risk of miscarriage
  • A previous preterm birth or other risk factors for preterm birth
  • Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge or cramping
  • Leaking amniotic fluid
  • Placenta previa (when the placenta is low and covers the cervix)
  • Incompetent cervix (when the cervix is weakened and opens too soon)

If your pregnancy is considered to be high risk, you may need to be more cautious than other women. Your health care provider may advise you to avoid intercourse for all or part of your pregnancy.

How Does Pregnancy Affect My Sex Life?
Many women find that pregnancy makes them want sex more than they did before they became pregnant. This sex drive is caused by hormonal changes. For some women, newfound voluptuousness can play a role in making them feel sexier than ever.

Other women may find that their sex drive comes in waves while pregnant. Here are some common changes you may find throughout your stages of pregnancy.

First Trimester

  • The first 3 months of pregnancy are often accompanied by physical symptoms that can lower your interest in sex.
  • Symptoms such as feeling tired, nauseated, soreness in the breasts and the frequent need to go to the bathroom can make sex seem bothersome.

Second Trimester

  • By the time you reach your second trimester, the nausea, fatigue and breast tenderness have usually gone away or are much more manageable.
  • Your belly is growing but it’s still small enough to comfortably engage in sexual activity.  
  • You may even have more desire for sex! Women gain about 3 pounds of blood during pregnancy, and most of that blood flow is directed below the waist line.
  • Some women find the increased blood flow increases their ability to have an orgasm—even more than once.

Third Trimester

  • Toward the end of pregnancy, your growing belly and the anticipation of childbirth and raising your new baby may reduce your interest in sex.
  • Your concerns are perfectly normal. There are other ways you can be intimate with your partner without having sex.

Which Sex Positions Are Best During Pregnancy?
Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby's development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back (traditional missionary position) after the fourth month of pregnancy because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position. Try these:

  • Woman on top: This position puts you in control of how fast, slow and comfortable you want to be.
  • Spooning: Imagine the way that spoons fit together in the silverware drawer. Lay sideways with your partner lying behind you during sex. This position lowers the amount of pressure placed on your belly.
  • Hands and knees: This position works best during the first and second trimesters as it also lowers the pressure placed on your belly. But as your belly gets bigger during the very end of pregnancy, you may find this uncomfortable.
What Are Other Forms of Being Close?

You don’t have to engage in intercourse to be intimate with your partner. Other ways to share your sexual desire include:

  • Kissing
  • Cuddling
  • Sensual massages
  • Oral sex
    Note: If you choose oral sex, be sure your partner does NOT blow air into your vagina. This can cause an embolism (a blood vessel blocked by an air bubble), which can lead to serious harm for you and your baby.

Usually, if a woman enjoyed certain sexual activities before pregnancy, she can continue them during pregnancy as long as she feels comfortable. Talk to your health provider about any specific questions.

More Suggestions for You and Your Partner

  • Talk to your partner about your needs in an open and loving way. Be aware of his concerns as well as your own. If you work together, you can figure out how to put a smile on each other's face.
  • Let mutual pleasure and comfort be your guide. If something doesn't feel right for either one of you, change what you're doing.
  • Keep your sense of humor.
  • To avoid sexually transmitted infections, use a condom when having sex or have sex with only one person who doesn't have any other sexual partners. Discuss HIV testing for you and your partner with your health care provider.
  • If the pregnancy is high risk or if you have any questions at all, ask for help from your health care provider.
How Soon Can I Have Sex After Giving Birth?

Once the baby is born, it’s best that you wait until after your postpartum checkup before resuming intercourse. Typically, it takes at least 4 weeks after delivery before a woman feels comfortable and ready for sex. Take heart in the fact that most couples resume an active sex life sometime during the first year of their baby's life.

Courtesy of the March of Dimes


 
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Local Angle

Howe family photo

Encouragement + An Assist = Success

Nine days past her due date, Sara Howe was awakened at 3:00AM when her water broke. Thrilled that the long wait was finally over, Sara and her husband David packed up and headed to Southwest Washington Medical Center. By 5:00AM they were comfortably settled into one of Southwest’s Labor Delivery Recovery and Postpartum rooms, ready for action. But four hours later, Sara contractions had still not progressed so her midwife started her on Pitocin. Soon the contractions kicked in and Sara was well on her way.

At around eight o’clock the next morning, it was time for Sara to start pushing. So she pushed. And she pushed, and she pushed, and she pushed. "The first few hours of pushing went by without me realizing the time," remarked Sara. "But around the fourth hour I started to wonder if I was still making progress. That is when the encouragement of my midwife, husband and the Southwest nursing staff kept me going. It was like I had my own cheering section."

Unfortunately, even with all the support and encouragement, Sara’s labor was not progressing because her baby’s head was tilted in the birth canal. Neither Sara or her midwife wanted her to have a Cesarean section after all that work, so her midwife suggested an assisted delivery. Read more >

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