Working from home has its perks . . . and pitfalls

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Tuesday, October 28, 2008 | Comments (0)

Most women dream of being able to somehow juggle work and family, and with technology's help, the dream is becoming a reality for many. The internet has made it possible to work from home within a variety of fields, such as medical billing, retail (think eBay and other online storefronts), journalism, photography, and the list goes on. While working from home certainly makes it possible for women and men alike to avoid daycare, commuting, and other work-related costs, there are also drawbacks that, if not overwhelming, at least warrant consideration when contemplating a move from office to home base.

In my own experience as a mother of two young girls, working from home as Editor of Vancouver Family Magazine, I've found one of my challenges to be limiting work time. I tend to drift toward the computer throughout the day, as opposed to sitting down for a block of time to complete "office hours." If not checked, this has the tendency to make my kids feel a little abandoned. Others may have the opposite problem, finding it difficult to feel motivated to get work done, or getting distracted during work time. A balance is required to be sure that family, home, and work get their due attention.

In addition to distributing time between work and home, women often run into the problem of being pulled in many directions at once. The phone may ring at the same time as a toddler needs help at the potty. A choice will need to be made, with the understanding that one or the other may suffer as a consequence.

Overall, I'd recommend working from home to anyone, as long as there's not a misunderstanding that working from home is all rainbows and roses, and no thorns!

Baby's First Haircut

Posted by smottram in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Monday, October 6, 2008 | Comments (0)

On the way home, I mentioned to my son if he had noticed the little girl and her parents next to him having her first haircut.  And he said, "Mama, next time can you stand next to me when I get my haircut?"  "Honey, I was on the couch right across from you," I said. "But I want you standing right next to me the WHOLE time, " he explained.    

I'm not sure what the lesson is here....but for me, it reminded me that as much as we think we know what our kids need from us and when, often they surprise us and teach us that being a "present" parent is what they really want on special AND ordinary days.  

Stay-At-Home Survival Guide

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Monday, September 15, 2008 | Comments (0)

Mothers who choose to leave their career to raise their children are often faced with unique and difficult challenges, including isolation, a loss of identity, and boredom. However, they're also blessed with wonderful rewards reaped by their efforts, such as valuable teaching moments with their children, and freedom from workplace stressors. A recent book I read addresses the good and the bad of the life of a SAHM. The author, a woman who left a successful magazine career to stay home with her son (and gave birth to twin girls shortly thereafter), uses research and anecdotes from SAHMs all over the country to offer solutions and discuss the "perks and pitfalls" of staying home. www.stayathomesurvivalguide.com.

Is Papa Going to Die?

Posted by smottram in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Thursday, September 11, 2008 | Comments (0)

When I first found out that there was a serious medical problem I was a mess. My 4 year old picked up on this immediately.  "Why are you so sad, Mamma?" he said.  I thought how I am going to tell this precious little boy that the grandfather he adores was really sick and was inevitably going to die.  I was having a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept, myself.  I decided that I wasn't going to run out of the room when the tears hit me, and they did. Instead, I let him see the tears stream down my face. I told him that Mamma was having a really sad day because Papa is really, really sick. That's when it came.  "Is Papa going to die?" he asked. "Probably," I said.  Then I asked him a question.  "How does that make YOU feel? "That makes me feel sad because I love Papa."  Then, he went back to playing with his toy cars like it was an ordinary day.

My Dad shared with me that his only regret was not seeing his grandchildren grow up.  And this is what I said. "Dad, you already know who your grandchildren are.  They are kind, loving, good people.  Whatever they decide to do with their lives, who they marry, what their accomplishments are - that's just the details of life. You know their character and that's what really matters."

On the morning of August 28, Papa left us.  The ironic thing about this is my 16 month old daughter just started to say "Papa!" "Papa!" when she sees a picture of him. I don't think he ever heard her call him by name.  But, to hear those words is music to my ears!

Nap Wars

Posted by nikkik in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Friday, August 22, 2008 | Comments (3)

I think my youngest daughter has outgrown naps. The last couple of nights, she has been wide awake come bedtime. I remember this struggle with my oldest daughter. She would fight naps so I stopped making her take one, but then she would fall asleep late in the afternoon, wake up at her regular bedtime, and be wide awake until 10 or 11 pm, robbing my husband and me of our "wind-down" time before we hit the hay ourselves, and making her very tired the next day from getting to bed so late. Although it felt wrong, and probably was, I would come up with ways to keep her awake in the afternnon so she would be exhausted enough to go to sleep early at night. Selfish, I know. Many pediatric sleep experts have dispelled myths that keeping a tired child awake is beneficial (see Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth http://www.familysleep.com ).

So now I find myself struggling with the same issue I did 3 years ago with daugher #1. You'd think I'd learned from experience how to deal with the nap transition period, but I find myself similarly clueless in this arena, even after having read the books. I'm falling back on the same solution: keeping her awake at all costs during the day in order to ensure an early bedtime. I need to read Dr. Weissbluth's book again, but in the meantime, any advice?

Having a Two Year Old: Embrace the Challenge and Enjoy

Posted by familybirthcenter in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, August 16, 2008 | Comments (0)

I remember the very day when my sweet little girl began to have a will of her own.  Up until that moment I was easily able to distract or coerce her into doing what I needed her to do.  But, on that day she peered out from behind the dining room chair and I saw a mischievous twinkle in her eye that let me know she was becoming an independent little being who had a mission separate from mine.  She was only 18 months at the time but, I knew that each child was individual as to when they would reach specific milestones in their developmental.

I had read plenty of parenting books about two year olds. So, I knew this age of independence was a vital developmental stage. What I wasn't prepared for was my reaction to her testing of limits.  I had always been a patient, calm, in control person with a happy demeanor. But, this little one whom I loved with all my heart knew how to push my buttons.  At first it was kind of cute because, she was not doing it out of anger she was happily defiant. But, one time when I was very tired after her baby sister was born her testing of boundaries escalated my frustration level higher than I thought possible.  I had to take a time out in order to deal with her.  This was my first realization that although parenting was going to be one of the most rewarding and precious times in my life, it would also be the most challenging.

I have heard some parents joke that their child had horns that would pop out once in awhile when they were misbehaving.  Like there was a little devil hiding inside that would peek out of their perfect angel from time to time.  It is important that parents realize this is a healthy and important step in their child's emotional maturity and that their children will become easier to work with as they reach elementary school age.  Of course, parents need to set some boundaries for their children so they can get along with others and to keep them from harm but, this stage is necessary for their development in order to be ready for school.

As an experienced parent, I would like to share with mothers and fathers of toddlers that this time of independence and exploration is also life's way of preparing your for the teenage years. As your babies grow into teenagers you will find that they will act out much like s/he did in their toddler years.  At times they will tease you and test the boundaries to see how far they can go and how much you will take.  Other times they will react to your parenting with fierce tempers.  The saving grace of this time is that you will all survive and your children will grow into responsible, productive, caring adults if they are supported by parents who are patient, willing to listen, loving and set safety boundaries.  Another key component is providing a good family foundation of morals, values and minimal family stresses. 

We are fortunate in the Clark County - Portland area there are many parenting resources available to assist families.  A couple of the resources are ESD 112 and Children's Home Society but, there are many more.  If you call these agencies and still can't find what you need call the Childbirth Education Department at your hospital.

As a mother of an eleven year old and two teenagers I can tell you that it is definitely worth the journey.  So, hang in there , enjoy and remember that this challenging time of the toddler years is a very small slice of the "pie of life."

"I love kids, but enough is enough..."

Posted by drchang in Postnatal & Parenting Blog | Saturday, August 2, 2008 | Comments (0)

You've become a family.  It'd be nice to have a whole baseball team, but you really think you've changed all the diapers you can during this lifetime!  Now what?

 Technology in the last 5 years has really provided all sorts of conveniences and options for all sorts of things.  Contraception is no different.  Gone are the days when you either had to take a pill everyday or take the risks of surgery.  There are many semi-permanent and much lower risk and easier permanent options now.

First, intrauterine devices (IUD).  There are two options here.  Mirena and Paraguard.  Both are super easy to use because once your doctor puts it in, you don't have to do anything for five or 10 years, depending on which you use.  The only risk you take is when you get it put in at your doctor's office, and that risk is really minimal.

Next, a simple procedure called Essure can be done in the office and is permanent.  In the office!  You don't have to go to the operating room, and your doctor does not have to put incisions in your belly!  A tubal without going to the opreating room?!  How great is that?  There are many of us in the Portland/Vancouver area that are qualified to do this 10 minute procedure in the office. 

For all of you who are thinking,"My husband said he was going to get a vasectomy."  I tell you this as fact.  Five women in the last month have walked into my office asking for options since their husbands have broken their promises to get a vasectomy.  (Honestly, men are big babies - particularly when it comes to THAT area of the body!  Can anyone really disagree with that?)  It used to really make sense to bully your husband to get a vasectomy because that procedure is an office procedure and low risk.  Now that female sterilization is also that easy and quick, there's no reason to place your contraceptive fate in your husband's hands. 

Talk to your Ob-Gyn about the options.  If you're sure you don't want anymore kids, 10-15 minutes is all that it takes to make that a reality.  Pretty cool, right?