Posted by: nikkik in Preconception on
Sep 10, 2008
My husband and I disagree on whether or not to have another baby. We've got two beautiful girls, ages 5 and 2, and I'd like to add one more to our brood. But my husband has no interest. I really do believe that if we found out we were pregnant right now that he would be very happy and excited, but he's not going to do it "on purpose." He even half-jokes about getting a vascectomy! I'm definitely not ready for that yet. Thankfully, we're not to a point where it's caused real conflict, especially because my desire for another child is very mild and I'm willing to wait - either until he changes his mind, or I'm ready to permanently call it quits. But I wonder if anyone else has experience with this, and how you worked through
The other night I watched a wonderful new documentary called Being Dad. The tagline, "40 Dads - 6 Experts - 9 months - 80 minutes" pretty much sums it up well. A father to be, in an attempt to learn more about the new journey upon which he will soon embark, sits down with dads all over the country and learns all about what it's like during pregnancy, delivery, and parenting. The guys talk candidly about everything from sex during pregnancy, to miscarriage, to premature labor, to epidurals, to caesarian section, to the feeling of elation that comes when the baby is finally born.
The film simultaneously follows Troy and his wife, Stacey, from morning sickness to first ultrasound, and finally to delivery. It actually shows the birth of their child, and it's amazing. I don't think I've ever watched a birth without crying. It is such a miracle. And it brought back memories of my own daughters' births and made me feel strong all over again for all the hard work I did to get them safely out!
Posted by: nikkik in Preconception on
Jul 01, 2008
When considering marriage, and eventually starting a family of your own, it's incredibly important to, as Dr. Laura Schlessinger says, "Choose wisely, treat kindly." I've only been married 8 years, but I have learned a thing or two about relationships and how important it is to think through the choice of marriage. In my opinion, love is simply not enough when it comes to building a life with another person. It's more like a business deal than a summer fling, although it's imperative that love is there as well. In other words, the ideal partner is someone whom you love passionately, but with whom you can also agree on important co-habitating and child-rearing issues such as:
religion
education
money
parenting styles
living location
Deciding to have children is a decision that will affect your and your child's life forever, and bind you to the baby's parent, so be sure you choose your spouse well. Then treat that spouse with love and respect the rest of your days. The positive impact on
Posted by: drchang in Preconception on
May 29, 2008
My wife and I asked ourselves that question many times over the stretch of time that we could not get pregnant. We tried multiple infertility treatments. Nothing. What was wrong with us?
We were healthy, took care of ourselves. (Well, the occasional Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese MIGHT have gone in my mouth...) Seemed like there were babies flying out all over the place among our friends and associates. We, of course, were happy for them, but still..... I had many a patient who "accidentally" got pregnant. "Why?" my wife and I would ask each other.
By the fifth round of infertility treatment, my wife was not eating well or sleeping very well from the stress she had placed on herself. She cried every time the pregnancy test would be negative. She felt she was somehow less of a woman and wife because she could not get pregnant. I, of course, couldn't have disagreed more, but she was falling into that despair that many women in this situation feel. Finally, I told told her
