Posted by: nikkik in Preconception on
Sep 10, 2008
My husband and I disagree on whether or not to have another baby. We've got two beautiful girls, ages 5 and 2, and I'd like to add one more to our brood. But my husband has no interest. I really do believe that if we found out we were pregnant right now that he would be very happy and excited, but he's not going to do it "on purpose." He even half-jokes about getting a vascectomy! I'm definitely not ready for that yet. Thankfully, we're not to a point where it's caused real conflict, especially because my desire for another child is very mild and I'm willing to wait - either until he changes his mind, or I'm ready to permanently call it quits. But I wonder if anyone else has experience with this, and how you worked through
The other night I watched a wonderful new documentary called Being Dad. The tagline, "40 Dads - 6 Experts - 9 months - 80 minutes" pretty much sums it up well. A father to be, in an attempt to learn more about the new journey upon which he will soon embark, sits down with dads all over the country and learns all about what it's like during pregnancy, delivery, and parenting. The guys talk candidly about everything from sex during pregnancy, to miscarriage, to premature labor, to epidurals, to caesarian section, to the feeling of elation that comes when the baby is finally born.
The film simultaneously follows Troy and his wife, Stacey, from morning sickness to first ultrasound, and finally to delivery. It actually shows the birth of their child, and it's amazing. I don't think I've ever watched a birth without crying. It is such a miracle. And it brought back memories of my own daughters' births and made me feel strong all over again for all the hard work I did to get them safely out!
Posted by: smottram in Untagged on
Jul 31, 2008
I lay in bed with my eyes wide open. My husband, John was fast asleep.
All the signs of pregnancy were there -missed period, tender breasts, and I just felt like something was going on inside my body. But I had not taken a pregnancy test yet.
I snuck out of bed, opened the pregnancy test and with the first pee of the morning (recommended by my test) took my home pregnancy test. Then, I waited. While it was only three minutes, it seemed like forever. My heart was pounding because deep down inside, I knew I was pregnant. The small screen finally filled with the word "Pregnant." My mind was racing with thoughts of my body changing, caring for a baby, and how John and my family would feel.
I decided to wait until later that day to tell John. I wanted to do something special. It was the Friday before our anniversary and we were headed up to Seattle for a quick getaway. At lunchtime, I ran to the store and bought some little white booties. I was going to wrap them up and give
Posted by: nikkik in Preconception on
Jul 01, 2008
When considering marriage, and eventually starting a family of your own, it's incredibly important to, as Dr. Laura Schlessinger says, "Choose wisely, treat kindly." I've only been married 8 years, but I have learned a thing or two about relationships and how important it is to think through the choice of marriage. In my opinion, love is simply not enough when it comes to building a life with another person. It's more like a business deal than a summer fling, although it's imperative that love is there as well. In other words, the ideal partner is someone whom you love passionately, but with whom you can also agree on important co-habitating and child-rearing issues such as:
religion
education
money
parenting styles
living location
Deciding to have children is a decision that will affect your and your child's life forever, and bind you to the baby's parent, so be sure you choose your spouse well. Then treat that spouse with love and respect the rest of your days. The positive impact on
Posted by: familybirthcenter in Untagged on
Jun 29, 2008
It was 10 pm on July 4th I was 38 weeks pregnant, just lost my mucous plug and thought my amniotic fluid was leaking. I called my doctor and he said I should go to the hospital to be checked. At the birth center the nurse who checked me thought my bag of waters was still in tact. She said my cervix was dilated two centimeters, 50% effaced, baby was at zero station and I was contracting regularly but, I wasn't "in labor." She me I should go home for now and that my baby could arrive within a few hours or a few weeks. I went home and of course was too excited to sleep. Until the nurse had said I was contracting regularly I didn't realize that the tightening I had been feeling in my uterus were contractions because, they weren't painful like I thought they would be. Now I was quite aware of the "tightening" and even though it was silly I became obsessed with counting my contractions. Finally, at 1:30 am I went to bed and tried to get some rest besides, the nurse said it could
Posted by: drdavidcallies in Untagged on
Jun 15, 2008
Things are warming up here in the South Sound. The flowers are beginning to bud up, weeds are taking over my Irises, my Koi are much more active and I am spending much more time outside in the garden. Allison has learned the word “owtside” and will point at our back door when she wants to head outdoors. Playing in the garden is a lot of fun for her as there are so many new things for her to see, feel, touch, smell and yes, taste.
A couple of weekends ago she and I were working in the garden. I was pulling weeds and picking out racks from my wife’s vegetable garden in prep for planting while Allison took rocks and weeds from the wheel barrel and put them on the pathway. She learned that dirt is not food and putting weeds on her head and letting them fall down her back is a lot of fun and makes me say “NO”. Gardening is a fun activity and something that I want her to learn and appreciate. My family has always had wonderful gardens and valued eating fresh organic fruits and vegetables.
Posted by: drchang in Preconception on
May 29, 2008
My wife and I asked ourselves that question many times over the stretch of time that we could not get pregnant. We tried multiple infertility treatments. Nothing. What was wrong with us?
We were healthy, took care of ourselves. (Well, the occasional Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese MIGHT have gone in my mouth...) Seemed like there were babies flying out all over the place among our friends and associates. We, of course, were happy for them, but still..... I had many a patient who "accidentally" got pregnant. "Why?" my wife and I would ask each other.
By the fifth round of infertility treatment, my wife was not eating well or sleeping very well from the stress she had placed on herself. She cried every time the pregnancy test would be negative. She felt she was somehow less of a woman and wife because she could not get pregnant. I, of course, couldn't have disagreed more, but she was falling into that despair that many women in this situation feel. Finally, I told told her
Posted by: drdavidcallies in Untagged on
May 04, 2008
Hello all. My name is David Callies, PsyD and I am a Pediatric Psychologist in private practice in Olympia, Washington. I am also the proud parent of a 17 month-old girl named Allison. On top of that, my wife is 12 weeks pregnant with our second. It’s been a wild and wonderful ride so far. I wish I could do more for my wife and wipe away the morning sickness. I just hate to see her feeling so crumby all the time. As I look at my daughter and I find myself looking at her through teh lense of a psychologist as well as from that of a father. This blog will be about all of that; what it’s like to be a father, an expecting father, how my wife and I work through parenting differences, applying real life parenting skills in raising a toddler and other things that come along.
I remember watching Alison growing up and waiting to see all of her developmental milestones surface. I have read and studied them but seeing them emerge right in front of me was fascinating. I would look for eye
Posted by: drchang in Untagged on
May 01, 2008
You know, I have a wife and two daughters. I only see female patients everyday. My medical assistant is a female. (She is, by the way, the best M.A. in the universe..! =) ) Sometimes, I forget that I'm actually a man! HA, HA! Not really, but sometimes I do surprise myself that sometimes I can go days without having any "male" thoughts. This entry, though, is going to be for the guys. (well, sort of for you women, too!) Read this to them; you'll be glad you did.
Look. Nothing scares us men more than being responsible for a tiny person that could scream and/or cry at any moment for no apparent reason. (No, I'm not talking about your wife....) "What will hapen to my life?" "What about all the things I want to do?" Fishing, golfing, football-gaming, grunting, etc. A child will just get in the way of all of that. You know what? You are 100% right. I definitely play less golf (but I still grunt just as much...HA!). I also get less sleep; I also have to TIVO football
Posted by: drchang in Untagged on
Apr 23, 2008
Hello, again. This is a question I also get asked a lot by friends and family. (Obviously, my patient don't ask me since they've already chosen me for some reason...HA!)
How many of you have developed a relationship with your doc only to have to move because of one reason or another? Most of us. Some of us more than once!
It's really hard, right? Think about it. Childbirth is one of the (if not THE) most wonderful, exciting, nerve-wracking, blessed moments in your life. Would you trust that to just anyone?? I wouldn't. You can just look through the yellow pages or your insurance carrier's doctor lists. Doesn't that feel a bit like shooting in the dark?? It does to me. After all, every doctor looks the same on paper. Every doctor got a degree from somewhere and ostensibly has the qualifications to be a doctor. We all want a "good" one, though, right?
Here's the honest truth. 90% of medical issues are pretty straightforward and can really be handled by just about any board
